Thread regarding DXC Technology layoffs

We're Hiring: Chief Product Officer

As part of our continued commitment to strategic transformation, we're excited to welcome a Chief Product Officer to help accelerate the next chapter of our journey.

Following another successful organizational redesign, we're looking for someone who can help us unlock the next phase of our transformation roadmap while preserving the momentum generated by the previous transformation roadmap. You'll inherit a focused product portfolio, an exceptionally lean engineering organization and a roadmap that's been thoughtfully reprioritized every quarter since 2017.

Your Mission
Deliver a bold new product vision every six months.
Rename existing features to reflect current market trends.
Replace shipped features with strategy slides.
Convert customer churn into "portfolio optimization."
Ensure every roadmap slide contains at least one arrow pointing upward.
Ensure every release contains at least one AI feature nobody requested.
Find innovative ways to describe doing less with fewer people.
Help leadership explain why this year's reset is fundamentally different from last year's reset.

Preferred Experience
Proven experience joining companies at exactly the right stage of their transformation.
Experience building roadmaps that extend comfortably beyond the company's current runway.
Ability to explain why shrinking customer base actually reflects a more focused customer base.
Ability to describe maintenance work as platform innovation.
Experience creating AI strategies before identifying customer problems.
Familiarity with saying "the fundamentals have never been stronger" while Finance quietly updates the forecast.

What We Offer
Market-leading generous salary and equity.
A customer base that's becoming increasingly curated.
The unique satisfaction of building tomorrow's narrative before today's results arrive.
Unlimited exposure to meetings about meetings.
Unlimited opportunities to "build momentum" and "circle back".
Countless opportunities to make an immediate impact on next quarter's reorganization and the unique opportunity to define the future before the next strategic refresh defines it again.

Join us as we remain relentlessly focused on becoming the company our investor deck says we already are and as we continue laying the foundations for the strategic turnaround we'll be announcing again next year.


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Post ID: @OP+1kzbbc369

5 replies (most recent on top)

This is Chief product officer for - Platform - x-x.

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Post ID: @pe+1kzbbc369

Excellent satire!!!
Thoroughly nailed it lol

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Post ID: @kx+1kzbbc369

Right - the whole problem with this company is the top management are trying to sell something we don't sell, and have no capability to sell, whilst ignoring what we do actually offer. The people who bring in revenue are ignored and left payriseless for a decade whilst they bring on yet more fluff pendlers on top dollar. But do carry on as we've all about given up, and mentally checked out a couple of years ago, so the soon this place folds the better.

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Post ID: @dp+1kzbbc369

Please help me understand - what product have we ever delivered?

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Post ID: @dm+1kzbbc369

You forgot to add the following under "Preferred Experience"...

  • Very limited, if any, technical experience
  • Extensive history working for our CEO in a random, unrelated role in the past
  • Strong ability to look like a deer caught in headlights during meetings with discussions that go over your head
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Post ID: @b2+1kzbbc369

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