Everyone has been ordered to RTO… Nobody said you had to go INSIDE.
Welcome to the Parking Lot, Suite 2026.
BBQ grill next to the company-issued laptop.
Burgers at 11:47 AM because “lunch meeting.”
Tailgate chairs for the 9 AM Zoom.
Beverages in the cooler labeled “Q4 Financials.”
Wi-Fi mysteriously works better next to the smoker.
Productivity is down 87%, but morale is at an all-time high.
HR: “Why is everyone working outside?”
Employees: “We’re embracing the company’s return-to-office initiative.”
HR: “Why is there a grill?”
Employees: “Team building.”
HR: “Why are there 37 folding chairs?”
Employees: “Collaboration.”
HR: “Who brought the co-----e set?”
Employees: “Leadership.”
At this point, the parking lot isn’t a parking lot.
It’s a corporate tailgate with benefits.
Welcome back, everyone. Please remember to badge into the building before returning to your assigned folding chair.