RTO is getting exciting. My work area is over capacity, so I’m assuming the normal agenda is:
8:55 - Make awkward eye contact with someone already sitting in a chair
8:57 - Still searching for a chair
9:00 - Find a chair
9:15 - Defend chair
9:30 - Establish territorial boundaries
10:00 - “Collaboration”
10:15 - Someone steals my chair
Next time put Musical Chairs Corporate Edition, in the calendar invite.
I’m exploring alternative workspaces. Current availability:
My assigned desk - occupied by someone who got here before sunrise
Conference room - booked through 2047
Phone booth - currently housing three people and a flute
Break room - apparently eating lunch is considered “collaboration”
Lobby - security says I can’t plug my laptop into the revolving door
Cafe - one table, 37 people, and someone has already claimed the outlet
Stairwell - “not an approved workspace,” despite having excellent acoustics
Bathroom - HR has asked that I stop referring to Stall #3 as my “private office”, also has excellent acoustics
Parking lot - Wi-Fi signal mysteriously disappears once I cross the property line
Elevator - currently occupied, but I’m confident I can squeeze in with my laptop and spend the day riding between floors while aggressively maintaining eye contact on Zoom
My car - becoming the strongest candidate
I’m sure leadership has a flexible solution.
Apparently “return to office” means return to the general vicinity of the office and figure the seating situation out amongst yourselves. Our return was planned, but seating wasn’t.